Changing Heaven......One Human at a time.......Surprised By Motherhood

As women we have the most profound, privilege of having a chance to change heaven. A wise man once said  "There are only two w...

As women we have the most profound, privilege of having a chance to change heaven.
A wise man once said
 "There are only two ways to change heaven, 
share the gospel with people so they can know Him
or raise children to have relationship with Him."

My hubby and I were married when I was a young 21 and he was an "old" 27.
I say "old" because  he did seem so much older than me. I had lived at home all of my life even during college
and he had his own place ( a single wide 1970's trailer on property), a good job, and two cars. When he asked me out I was so in "awe" thinking why would he want to ask me? He was the strong silent type, the man of few words and when he spoke my ears clung to every word.
He was certain he was ready to have children. And oh, not just a couple. I discovered after we were married he talked  about having as many as 10!
And no, he was not necessarily kidding......
Thoughts flashed through my head whenever we would have conversations about starting a family.
......I just graduated from college
...............I want to have a career
..............I didn't just waste 4 years of working myself through college to stay
at home and have a bunch of kids.
Feelings of frustration and panic would come over me. I wrestled between wanting my independence and pleasing my new husband. We came to the agreement that we would wait at least two years. That would give me some time to enjoy my new career of teaching at a private school.
After two years we started trying.........then three years went by...........four years.......
and the questions from friends started....
"When are you going to have kids?"
"Don't you want to have kids?", "What are you doing to try to get pregnant?" " Have you tried this?"
If you have ever been in this situation it is awkward, it is daunting and it can be painful. All of the well meaning comments can feel like criticism and judgment. Like you aren't good enough, or you aren't doing enough to make it happen. So after 5 years my husband devised a rather creative answer to this question:
"So when are you going to have kids?"
 his reply "When the sperm hits the egg."
I can tell you that shocked people into quiet. And by this time we had even told God, that even if we did not have any children ever, we were grateful for each other.
"we had learned the secret of being content in all circumstances, in all situations...." Philippians 4:12
In year 6 our baby girl was born.

 We were so in awe of God's goodness to us.

I was able to adjust my teaching schedule and continue to teach 4 classes at the private school and I took my baby girl with me. This worked out well. I had the best of both worlds. My love of teaching and love of my family. Sixteen months later we conceived baby #2. At first I was excited about this as well as my husband was excited. As my belly grew bigger the weight of motherhood weighed on my heart and mind.
I would take my 13 month old to work with me teach my classes, go home, correct papers, do lesson plans, bathe my daughter, do laundry, make dinner, play with my daughter and all the while realizing that the career that I loved so much was fading into the background. My love for my career was not fading....but motherhood was coming to the forefront. It was staring me in the face everyday. When my daughter threw a temper tantrum, or she needed me to help her with her clothes, or show her how to clean up her bedroom. Motherhood was taking over my life and I was losing myself. My husband said nothing to me during this time. He could see my struggle, he helped when he could and he saw that my mothering instincts were reluctantly taking over. I remember him coming home from work one evening and I told him "I can't do it! I just can't do it all. I know that once the baby comes our daughter will need me more than ever. " He quietly said, " I knew you would figure it out, I knew you would do what you felt was right." I made the decision that I would give up my beloved job. The job that had given me meaning and purpose to stay home and raise our children. We made lots of financial sacrifice and prepared as the school year closed for me to be home.
After our second daughter came into the world. There were days of mourning for me. Mourning of who I was. Mourning of what I loved. I know this sounds pathetic but there were times after I had finally got the two of them down for a nap after hearing them cry and whine for 30 minutes I too would
lay face down on the carpet of my living room crying, and asking myself what had I gotten myself into. Not my finest mothering moments, yet they were real. It was during those times that I chose to remember what my new "occupation" was all about. I was now in the business of changing heaven.

 "There are only two ways to change heaven, 
share the gospel with people so they can know Him
or raise children to have relationship with Him."

The words of the wise man echoed in my heart. These two children were eternal beings and I had the privilege to raise them to know who they were and to know the One who gave them life.
The funny thing about the wise man's words?
He is my husband, those were the words that he spoke to me at the beginning of our marriage when he first talked to me about children. He saw what I could not see through my selfishness.
That I had an opportunity to change human at a time.

This post was inspired by a gem of a book
that I have the privilege of helping to launch.

It is the lovely story of  Lisa Jo Baker
becoming and being a mom. As I read the chapters I found myself in her. I think most women 
will find themselves somewhere in her. It is a story of love.
You can preview the first three chapters here
"Surprised by Motherhood" first 3 chapters
You will need to have a few tissues on hand as tears may leak out of your eyes.
 I know they did mine.

Buy Book Here "Surprised By Motherhood"



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Cindy Fincher: Changing Heaven......One Human at a time.......Surprised By Motherhood
Changing Heaven......One Human at a time.......Surprised By Motherhood
Cindy Fincher
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